Ignoring introductory phrases, underline the first eight words in a sentence.

  • Do you have an abstract noun as a subject?
  • Do you have 6 or 7 words before you get to a verb?

“Yes” means your sentences may need revising.


  • Decide who your main characters are (more in next lesson)
  • Decide what actions these main characters perform (look especially to those nominalizations, those actions treated as nouns)


  1. Change any actions to verbs
  2. Make characters subjects
  3. Use conjunctions (because, if, when, although, why, how, whether, that, since, so long as, provided that) to make the logics of the relationships clear.

Diagnose, analyze, and revise the following sentence. Show your work.
Our loss in sales was the result of their expansion of outlets.

Main character(s):
Main action(s):

New Sentence parts:

Revised sentence:

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